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Mr. Rant's "Bad Haul Day"

I feel defeated today. It’s been a busy week and this is the first time I’ve had a chance to sit down and open last week’s Matty figures.

Now, I don’t expect perfection. That’s an impossible order. But I do expect equal pay out for the amount of money I spend. These Matty toys are supposedly a “collector’s” line. But I’m not even sure if Mattel knows what that means sometimes.

My friend, Vault, orders toys from Japan regularly. A lot of them are Revoltechs and Figmas – mostly half-naked anime girls and robots. You know the kind. They seem to be pretty hip with all the kids these days. Well, we all get to see what each other buys, look it over, “play” with it, if you will. He pays about thirty dollars apiece and I can tell you right now, they are worth every penny. He never has to deal with sloppy or missing paint. All these figures come with a minimum of fourteen points of articulation. And accessories? You’d be hard pressed to find any of them with less than two pairs of hands, a stand, alternate faces or heads, and whatever items the character is usually seen with. For thirty dollars, or twenty if you lived in Japan where they’re originally sold, you get a real toy that is made for “collectors”. The funny thing is, the toy is usually made for kids too.

That brings us to today. I opened up Teela to discover that her left elbow had been warped by the package. Skeletor’s minions will never see that left hook coming the way it bows. But don’t feel bad for Teela folks, she’s not alone. Zoar, her trusty package companion, somehow was lucky enough to have his face bent looking to the right. How do you bend something so tiny? I don’t know, but I have the feeling you can ask the factory worker who applied the black beak paint crookedly, in, I’m assuming, a vain attempt to fix the problem. Or maybe he just didn’t care and threw a slop of black paint at the bird’s face. The mystery will never be solved.

Next was Zodak. You would think with all those rubber bands and plastic pieces wrapped around him in the package that he would have turned out just fine. At least that’s what I was thinking as I struggled to free him from his plastic prison. Well, I was all wrong. Apparently Mattel should have included a large foam helmet with all those restraints. My Zodak is blessed with factory battle damage in the form of two dents on the top of his helmet. Guess he is a true badass – he had to fight his way out of the factory.

Now, I’ve had disappointments before. We all have. Normally, I can take a couple at a time, but my day wasn’t over quite yet. On the way home from work, I stopped at Target to pick up some stuff for dinner and they finally had a new shipment of 6″ Public Enemies figures. Being forced by lack of choice to pick up the only Silver Banshee and Icicle figures that were there, I would again be disappointed. Icicle has these wonderful scratches in the paint on his arms, leaving chipped marks all over. Apparently, he’s a cutter. Who knew? He also wipes his nose too much, because the tip of mine’s nose has no paint. Silver Banshee has a twisted ankle – twisted nearly onto its side. There’s no standing for her anytime in the near future. With ankles like that, I better invest in some flying stands.

One day of spending a little over sixty dollars on toys, and not one decently made figure in the bunch. Sure makes those half naked anime girls and robots look a lot more tempting.

-Mr. Rant

12 comments to Mr. Rant’s “Bad Haul Day”

  • Heli

    Mattel, proudly bringing you mass market quality at collector prices.

  • Hank Henshaw

    Warped limbs are a major pain to me because you can’t always tell from outside the package. Not that it matters, as we get no choice with Matty stuff.

    Quality aside, I’ll take our toys over some of the smutty toys I see coming out of Japan.

  • I did get used to my Icicle finally, but I don’t think I could if he were like that.

    Good call on the flying stands, LOL.

  • superdoug

    Hmmmm I can’t think of anything to say other than I feel bad for you and isn’t it more like $70 plus with shipping not $60? That probably just makes it hurt even more.

  • The quality of the Japanese toys are by far superior, and they all aren’t just half naked girls and robots… For those of you who prefer more “man flesh” I suggest Fist of the North Star. And, hey, he even has a high horse to sit on.

    Also, I’d like to point out that, as a collector, I’m noticing a lot of others, like myself, have been straying away from the toys and going to more of the statue category especially when it comes to American licenses. When you think about it, if you’re already spending that amount of money, might as well pony up for a nicer piece. Am I right?

    • dayraven

      unless you like posability or *GASP* play!!

      i feel for you rant, i would seriously write matty CS and damand a replacement. AT THIER COST, you didn’t do anything to the toy, you ordered on good faith and they didn’t deliver in kind. that “ship us back the toy and we’ll send you a new one” is crap, the expense should be their in entirety. you did your part in buying the POS the first time, sight-unseen, at a premium price tag.

      and double H- if you find the japanese figs smutty, you’re going to the wrong websites. not every toy is a half (or more) naked girl. you can, w/ minimal effort, find tons of cool giant beasties, robots of every size, shape, and design, even american superheroes. the microman batman a couple years back is one of the best batman figs ever done, and generally only takes a backseat to the movie realization batman. you need to expand those boundaries big guy, the japanese make some crazy awesome figures, no question… the only thing holding them back from pwning the american toy scene is the price tag. but in terms of diversity, value and uniqueness, they’re unchallenged.

  • RageTreb

    You know about putting warped plastic n hot water, right Mr. Rant? That’ll fix most of the problems you listed. I’m not defending Mattel, just trying to help.

    • 3B

      Dude, how long would you have to put them in water for? I’ve being curious about this. Another technique I read about was using a blow dryer. Are there any risks involved with this? I worry about the paint going.

      • dayraven

        in my experience, i prefer the water… why? because at a simmer, it takes little longer to get the plastic soft. like maybe 10 or 15 seconds. a hair dryer you go from hard to soft in about 5 to 7 seconds (obviously these times depend on the size of what you’re warming… i’m listing times for a marvel legend sized arm or thin leg.) just keep checking the piece while you’re warming it, you feel the consistency change and it will be get soft, kind of like gum that’s been chewed a long time… then just gently move the limb into the direction you want it, then go run in under cool water, it’ll refirm in about 20 to 30 seconds. fixed. i’ve not hard an issue w/ paint chip doing either method, but i haven’t reduced a part of super soft state either… like yourself, i worry about the process, so i work as soon as the plastic is soft enough. things like popping off arms and legs, i’d do maybe a minute in simmering water or 30 seconds w/ a hair dryer to keep from possibly warping the post. and remember when re-attaching limbs, keep the post cool so it’s at normal hardness, soften the socket it’s going into. 😉

  • 3B

    Why does Mattel let this happen? I mean, seriously, why? I know why. Because we let them. We pay the price for these figures. We continue to buy them, inspite of having a Starfire with a bow leg. Wonder Woman with some stray paint on her hair, which recalls images of the popular Farrelly bros. film, “There’s Something About Mary.” And a Robin with loose joints.

    I’m just as guilty… hell, I haven’t found one, not one, wave 10 figure, yet, I’ve already pre-ordered waves 11 & 12. And I’m just counting the days until Nov. 15th, so I can order “Color of Fear”, He-man and probably Proto-suit Batman, too. Oh, and Ray, if he’s still available, even though, I said I was going to skip out on GBC.

    I have no idea what condition any of these figures will be in, but I too am afraid to skip out on them, or return them for fear of not finding replacements. My dear friends, I think it’s safe to say Mattel has us by the b@!!$.

  • Nicknova

    That stinks!! You should send them back!