Top Ten Least Wanted: Marvel Edition

In every property, there are characters we desperately want to see in action figure form. Characters that, if missing, will forever make our collections incomplete. But not all characters are so loved. Some you never want to see again. Some you wish you never saw in the first place. They will never grace the action figures aisles and its okay, because we never want them to. It’s time for another edition of Top Ten Least Wanted! This week: Marvel Comics.

Abominatrix – I’d love to discuss her creation but this is a family friendly site. Let’s just say she discovered there were side effects to trying to get rid of that time of the month.

Carjack – A car thief in a costume? Sure, okay. A car thief in a costume who got caught up between Thunderstrike and Bloodaxe? It was the 90s, you say? Well, okay then.

Shape – Here is an idea, let’s take a character with shape changing abilites, but make him stupid. That way, he can’t come up with anything interesting to do with his amazing abilities. Plastic Man eat your heart out.

Slapstick – Just look at him.

Black Bunny Brigade – I just see rabbits. But they’re evil rabbits, you say? Yeah, they’re still rabbits. But they’re rabbits that fought off the Hulk, you say? No, Hulk would have eaten them all. But is was the 80s, you say? Well, okay then.

Wal Rus – I’ll be fair and give you a lame hero no one wants. Wal Rus fought with Rocket Raccoon against those dastardly bunnies. How could he be a threat? You just keep your distance and blast him. Seriously, stand ten feet away and blast him.

Chess Set – “Listen guys the editor said DC already had the Royal Flush Gang, so we’re gonna need something else…”. After a brief moment of pause, “I GOT IT! THE CHESS SET!” Everybody is going to love these guys! Check and Mate for Lame.

Bonehead – Never heard of him? Neither had I, but he has to be pretty bad when his main foe is… wait for it. Trust me, you won’t believe which hero this rogue set his sights on. Ready? here we go… S-SPIDERMAN? Nope. SP-SPIDERWOMAN? Nuh-uh. Okay, I give up…it’s Speedball! He’s the Lex Luthor to Speedball’s Superman. Yeah, I told you that you weren’t ready.

Barnacle – He has the power to turn water into a rock hard substance. Sur,e great power, right? but we don’t need Hasbro to make a figure for him. Just buy any random figure, cover him in glue, and dip him in loose gravel. Voila, instant Barnacle figure.

Hypno-Hustler – Do the hustle… right out the door, loser. He has the power to hypnotize people with his goggles and his back up band singing. So he heads to the bank, right? No, he chooses to rip off people at a Disco. It was the 70s? Well, okay then.

15 thoughts on “Top Ten Least Wanted: Marvel Edition

  1. I’m afraid I have to disagree. I would buy a Slapstick figure in an instant. I would suggest replacing him with Angar the Screamer. Look him up, you’ll be sad you did.

  2. I look at your lists and think that it’s a good thing Marvel Legends is mostly dead.


    1. hey, he can’t blow his wad in just one list… there’s plenty of bilge rats in the halls of comicdom to make lists aplenty!

  3. Abominatrix! Lol!

    Yeah I agree with jasonahurley. Slapstick was pretty popular in the 90s but just for a short while. 😉

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