Mr. Rant says “Have a Happy Thanksgiving”

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Thanksgiving is this week, so I thought I would take a break from ranting and list a few things that I was thankful for this year.

  • It’s been five days, and David Willis hasn’t used his Batman figure with the giant mutant chin to terrorize his other toys.  Perhaps the nightmare is over?
  • That no matter where I go, toy store shelves everywhere will stay toasty warm with Captain Cold.  Because what child doesn’t want “man in parka” figure?
  • That Walmart holds onto the hope that the Terminator and Star Trek movie figures are still worth five dollars.  Every time I see them taking up a whole end cap, I just think to myself “at least it’s not those damned costumes”.
  • Bruce Franklin.  No one may know who you are, but by god you will let Christian Bale finish.
  • Jimmy Fallon, for somehow not being a giant disappointment.  Who knew a fake reality show about an overly dramatized seventh floor office building could be so entertaining.
  • Mattel, for showing us there really are worse companies out there.  I’m looking at you Digital River, and your inability to mail a package within a week of receiving my money.
  • Geoff Johns, for finally killing Kyle Rayner.  Now I don’t have to keep wondering when the best character from my comics generation will be put out of his misery for daring to exceed the two dimensional characters that came before.  Now if only someone would just do the same Connor Hawke.
  • Palmer chocolates.  Now I know what the candy in hell tastes like.
  • JLA: The Working Week.  One of the greatest non-Morrison JLA stories ever.  Find it.  Read it.  Love it.
  • My wonderful fans, all three of you.  I try to bring a little dry humor and sarcasm to this little blogazine, and I’m thankful for the opportunity to do so.  Hope you all are enjoying my wit as much as I am.

Have a good Thanksgiving everyone.  And good luck hunting on Friday.

-Mr. Rant

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19 thoughts on “Mr. Rant says “Have a Happy Thanksgiving””

      1. Nailed it? Pushing things down people’s throats? Playing ping pong with barbells?

        YIKES! :O

  4. “Jimmy Fallon, for somehow not being a giant disappointment. Who knew a fake reality show about an overly dramatized seventh floor office building could be so entertaining.”

    I agree! I especially like the “Real Wives of Late Night.”

    “Palmer chocolates. Now I know what the candy in hell tastes like.”

    Oh gosh, isn’t it awful though? I mean REALLY. It’s just awful.

    Happy Thanksgiving, Mr. Rant! 🙂

  5. what the hell? a kinder, gentler mr rant? say it ain’t so! there was a little bile, but hardly the foaming, rampaging, seething hatred i’ve come to look gleefully forward to. oh well, i guess you can’t rage against the machine EVERY day, right?

  8. I’m thankful for the Joker and Wal-mart. After weeks of searching, coming up empty-handed at several different locations, waiting and finally buying him on eBay for $26 (with shipping), you finally had the good sense to stock him at my local store. Sure, I already had one, but I picked him up anyway, just to see the look on other people’s faces when they came into the toy isle and saw me standing there with the only Joker (or wave 10) figure. That kind of made all the torment worth it.

    I’m not looking to gouge him off on eBay, but it would be nice to at least make back the money I spent on the first one. If not, he’ll make a cool X-mas gift for a friend. That dude that showed up just seconds after me is probably still kicking himself! LOL, happy Thanksgiving, you bastard!

  9. Dammit Rant, finally someone feels me. Mr. Palmer has brainwashed holiday candy customers for millennia into buying his pieces of rabbit excrement by fiendishly spelling his name in the form of a cute, widdle bunny.

    I’m on to you Palmer. As for you, Mr. Rant, you now have your fifth fan.

  10. I’m thankful for Mattel for reminding me that I’m too old for this crap.

    Unfortunately, I seldom listen to myself.

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