Watchmen Club Black
Freighter Comedian Review

NoisyDvL5

So if all that’s fine, what’s wrong? It’s the little things. The head is undersized for the buck. And it’s the only one. It’s cool that we get two heads with the upcoming Ozymandias, but I think Blake might’ve been better served here. Scarred and unscarred? Masked and unmasked? Young and old? It would take six heads to cover the bases. And the one they did choose? Well, it’s kinda of odd to put him with the others. He’s younger here, like Manhattan. He doesn’t really go with the Nite-Owl & Rorschach who appear as they are in the present of the story. I know why Manhattan had to be based on his more modest flashbacks, but why not at least give Blake the temples for a “modern” feel?

I’ll accept the realities that an extra head couldn’t be afforded, even at $25, if they say so, but there are lazy bits here and there too. The left shoulder peg is molded in flesh tone and looks out-of-place. The flamethrower has no place to store the nozzle and if you want him to hold it, he had to hold it backwards. The trigger on the forward grip can’t be placed in his hand with his trigger finger. That’s a super-nitpick admittedly, but also, “Duh”.

And while the two accessories are cool, there are three molded-on accessories. And, let me take a minute to be overly dramatic, molded-on accessories, like the intentional walk & honey mustard, should be banished from the Earth. They’re just annoying. I feel like I should have a knife and two pistols for Comedian and instead I just look like I have them. Lame.

Okay, let’s dial it back as we wrap up. I said this would end with me saying Comedian is, at worst, just so-so. It’s not that much of a crime in action figure collecting. But, the thing is, I love Watchmen. I bet that a lot of folks who subscribed to this line, that part with $25 every other month, love Watchmen too. But, the figures? They don’t feel loved. They just feel like they made. There are tons of DCUCs where you can feel the love that went into them oozing off. The Watchmen figures would be jealous.

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19 thoughts on “Watchmen Club Black
Freighter Comedian Review”

  1. I saw this guy for sale at Project:Comic-con almost two months(!!) ago, and thought he looked good. I didn’t have the extra money to pick him up there (esp at $50!) and I’ve been blocked from ebay until I pay them up, so I really haven’t had the time to price him since.

    The figure I saw, his head didn’t look off to me, and it’s really only noticeable in the full body shots, here. In the “bust” shot, it does look a hair small, but I’m also wondering if part of that isn’t the blue shoulder pad being too big and throwing off his visual balance? I reallllllly hated all those 90s Spawn figures having One Giant Boot and Glove and being complately asymmetrical.

    Sure, the fact his flame thrower sits/points above his head without any help is annoying, but maybe they intended a slightly sturdier plastic because they knew the “hose” would be moved around a lot? (yeah right! LOL) As for the molded weapons on his belt, that’s an old complaint on many a figure, no matter the scale.

    I do agree that the post-Nam/70s scarred face wasn’t the best choice (it posits him in only one scene: the riot with Nite-Owl II), and they could have added at least one other head (koffgimpkoff), but Matty has been skimping on this line since the start. I’m surprised they didn’t cut the flame thrower or worse, the shotgun.

    Damn, this does make me sound like a Matty apologist, doesn’t it?
    I do hope to track Blake down, eventually. I tried a custom with the DCD movie version, but the new head was too big and didn’t sit right. ah well.

    and yeah, were IS the DC Peacemaker? and Nightshade??? We even had the blue vest/red legged Cap Atom from DCD but never these two!

  2. Great review. Makes me glad I didn’t get into this line in the first place.

    What’s an “intentional walk,” anyway? But I’m right there with you on honey mustard.

    2. But… but… I love honey mustard! I don’t get the hate, it’s not like it’s reduced-fat mayonnaise or anything (ew).

      And I just assumed that ‘intentional walk’ was any deliberate walking that doesn’t involve arriving at a fridge or a pub, or some other useful thing.

  3. It is truly amazing to me how inconsistent Matteo’s products can be, not just from line to line (no DC or watchmen fan would want to do a side by side with Matteo’s WWE line) but even how they jank up fig to fig from a single line. Manhatten’s head is just unforgivable, and while tread away is known for a realistic asymmetry in his sculpts, the doc is well beyond realistic. Blake’s head is small and the hands don’t grip his gear right… Not as egregious as manhattan’s head, but certainly not exceptible from a $25 fig. And the molded in not-accessory is just fargin wrong. That’s an adult collectible no no. If needs be, I will donkey punch a mofo for some honey mustard. It’s the first condiment I taught my boys to make. But molded in gear, that’s just morally wrong.

  4. And let’s not forget the absence of the iconic “smiley face”. Noisy, are you planning on penning one in?

    1. The lack of Smiley face is a legal issue… The same Reason why CM Punk doesn’t have the Pepsi or Cobra Logo Tattoos… If I recall correctly.

      1. what about Hurricane Helms having the GL tattoo? did JAKKS copy that to his figure or ignore it? Some of their tattoo work is very intricate, and that’s another hit (Big Show) or miss area (random others, and Arn’s chest hair = Cleveland Steamer).

        I guess they let Rey slide with his superhero inspired costumes of late, since Matty has the WWE and DC license? I had to LOL at Bat-Rey, and pretty sure he did a Cap inspired outfit, as well?

  5. I agree with your opening bit about negative reviews. I’ve never understood the “accentuate the negative” approach to talking about something, but hey, it gets page hits. I’ve never bought a toy I knew I was going to dislike ahead of time just so I could trash it in a mini-review on a forum. Why am I going to burn my money on something I didn’t even want in the first place? I’m not *that* much of a masochist.

    It happens sometimes that I’ll buy a figure and something I didn’t foresee keeps me from enjoying it–broken parts, shoddy paint (if buying blind online), lack of/restricted articulation–but those are more technical issues than someone shouting, “LOOK AT THIS CRAP POWER RANGERS TOY! I BOUGHT IT JUST SO I COULD SHOW MY VIEWERS JUST HOW PISS-POOR BANDAI OF AMERICA’S PRODUCTS ARE! IMPORTED TOYS ARE SO MUCH BETTER! THIS THING LOOKS LIKE IT WAS MADE FOR KIDS! REAL FANS BUY FIGUARTS!”

  6. I was excited when I heard about this line, but the figures seem to be all over the place quality wise so i am glad I passed. (mainly a cost thing) I wanted the Comedian, but the head seemed to small and molded accessories? for shame Mattel.

  7. I was extremely close to signing up for the Black Freighter sub, and when all the reviews of Rorschach started to come out I was kicking myself for passing. Every month since then though, I’ve thanked my lucky stars that I passed, because Rorschach is the only one I’ve been the least bit impressed by.

    1. Honey mustard is pus squeezed from the boils on Satan’s pockmarked buttocks.

      Followed closely behind by ketchup, barbecue sauce, and baked beans. For the most part, tomato + sugar + vinegar is the demonic triad of the condiment world. I’ve only ever had one product that contained all three that I actually liked (AJ’s Spicy Georgian Sauce, and that’s only because it’s got a shedload of other tasty ingredients in it as well); all others make me retch with their vile smell just being in the same room. Banana ketchup, on the other hand, is all-purpose joy for the mouth.

      It’s all a matter of personal preference. Nobody needs to explain themselves on why they like or dislike a certain food.

  9. Well, the smiley face won’t happen. It hasn’t been included on any figure of him due to the owner of the smiley face design not allowing it’s use. (I’m not sure how they got around that in the film.) As far as the flamethrower not having a place to stow the “gun”, that’s just normal. Flamethrowers don’t have any. Proton Packs do.

    1. The movie-makers got around it by having a huge budget and paying The Smiley Corporation a boatload of cash. Mattel cheaps out by releasing unpainted swords; they ain’t likely to stump up the cash bribe for a tiny paint app on a limited-run figure. Best you can expect from them is free advice to go buy a fine-point Sharpie* and draw in the face yourself. Man, I’m cynical when I’m short on sleep.

      * Because Mattel might get a kickback from Sharpie for plugging their product.

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