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Watchmen Club Black
Freighter Comedian Review

Sometimes I’m asked why I don’t do many negative reviews. The primary reason for that is because reviews take a lot of time and, while some folks are fueled by hate & righteousness, I’m just out to have some fun with toys. And if I’m not having fun with a toy, I’m probably not going to want to spend much time with it. IAT is a sweet gig all things considered. The pay could be better, but I basically play with toys every day. If I run across one that’s not fun, it tends to make a quick exit from my collection, usually before I photograph it.

I’ve also gotten pretty good about not buying bad toys. I will occasionally snag a rotten apple, particularly when I buy online, but it’s more likely that I’ll end up with a not so great one simply because I want to collect what it represents. That last part there, I think, basically sums up Mattel’s Watchmen line.

I don’t care about the irony of the existence of Watchmen figures. I don’t need to be that meta. I want Watchmen toys, comic-based toys. DC Direct teased me all those years ago with beautiful Tim Bruckner sculpts. They wouldn’t be articulated well, but I would’ve lived. The movie figures had some promise, I still kinda want a couple, but I never bought one. And then Mattel announces their line.

The Rorschach is a thing of beauty. He’s still my favorite. He’s a little too big and the aesthetics block some artic, but I don’t care. The figure walked off the page for me (even if the design on his mask didn’t). It went downhill with the messed-up head Manhattan. Silk Spectre was middle of the road. I felt like I nit-picked Nite-Owl to death even though I didn’t think he was a bad figure (his costume, like Rorschach’s hurt the articulation). And then we get to Comedian.

If I were to sneak a peek at the end of the review, I’d guess that Comedian would fall somewhere in the same area as Nite-Owl. The basic figure is fine. The buck does most of the work and we got plenty of new pieces were we needed them, including most of the lower legs, the short gloves, his gear, a new bicep, and the new head sculpt. All these pieces are fine.

The head sculpt looks good albeit a little small. The details on the belts and straps are sharp. The way the left sleeve was done is a bit odd-looking, but it mostly blends out with the stripes. The paint is sharp on the figure, even used to give the appearance of different textures. The articulation is fine too, pretty well standard for the DC buck, with only some minor blockage from the right shoulder pad. In addition to the included stand, Blake also got two accessories a removable flamethrower and a shotgun. Both are well sculpted, if a bit rubbery in execution. Continue to Page 2…

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19 comments to Watchmen Club Black
Freighter Comedian Review

  • Brainlock

    I saw this guy for sale at Project:Comic-con almost two months(!!) ago, and thought he looked good. I didn’t have the extra money to pick him up there (esp at $50!) and I’ve been blocked from ebay until I pay them up, so I really haven’t had the time to price him since.

    The figure I saw, his head didn’t look off to me, and it’s really only noticeable in the full body shots, here. In the “bust” shot, it does look a hair small, but I’m also wondering if part of that isn’t the blue shoulder pad being too big and throwing off his visual balance? I reallllllly hated all those 90s Spawn figures having One Giant Boot and Glove and being complately asymmetrical.

    Sure, the fact his flame thrower sits/points above his head without any help is annoying, but maybe they intended a slightly sturdier plastic because they knew the “hose” would be moved around a lot? (yeah right! LOL) As for the molded weapons on his belt, that’s an old complaint on many a figure, no matter the scale.

    I do agree that the post-Nam/70s scarred face wasn’t the best choice (it posits him in only one scene: the riot with Nite-Owl II), and they could have added at least one other head (koffgimpkoff), but Matty has been skimping on this line since the start. I’m surprised they didn’t cut the flame thrower or worse, the shotgun.

    Damn, this does make me sound like a Matty apologist, doesn’t it?
    I do hope to track Blake down, eventually. I tried a custom with the DCD movie version, but the new head was too big and didn’t sit right. ah well.

    and yeah, were IS the DC Peacemaker? and Nightshade??? We even had the blue vest/red legged Cap Atom from DCD but never these two!

  • Great review. Makes me glad I didn’t get into this line in the first place.

    What’s an “intentional walk,” anyway? But I’m right there with you on honey mustard.

  • Dayraven

    It is truly amazing to me how inconsistent Matteo’s products can be, not just from line to line (no DC or watchmen fan would want to do a side by side with Matteo’s WWE line) but even how they jank up fig to fig from a single line. Manhatten’s head is just unforgivable, and while tread away is known for a realistic asymmetry in his sculpts, the doc is well beyond realistic. Blake’s head is small and the hands don’t grip his gear right… Not as egregious as manhattan’s head, but certainly not exceptible from a $25 fig. And the molded in not-accessory is just fargin wrong. That’s an adult collectible no no. If needs be, I will donkey punch a mofo for some honey mustard. It’s the first condiment I taught my boys to make. But molded in gear, that’s just morally wrong.

  • Andy

    And let’s not forget the absence of the iconic “smiley face”. Noisy, are you planning on penning one in?

    • He-Mullet

      The lack of Smiley face is a legal issue… The same Reason why CM Punk doesn’t have the Pepsi or Cobra Logo Tattoos… If I recall correctly.

      • Brainlock

        what about Hurricane Helms having the GL tattoo? did JAKKS copy that to his figure or ignore it? Some of their tattoo work is very intricate, and that’s another hit (Big Show) or miss area (random others, and Arn’s chest hair = Cleveland Steamer).

        I guess they let Rey slide with his superhero inspired costumes of late, since Matty has the WWE and DC license? I had to LOL at Bat-Rey, and pretty sure he did a Cap inspired outfit, as well?

  • Battle Catman

    I agree with your opening bit about negative reviews. I’ve never understood the “accentuate the negative” approach to talking about something, but hey, it gets page hits. I’ve never bought a toy I knew I was going to dislike ahead of time just so I could trash it in a mini-review on a forum. Why am I going to burn my money on something I didn’t even want in the first place? I’m not *that* much of a masochist.

    It happens sometimes that I’ll buy a figure and something I didn’t foresee keeps me from enjoying it–broken parts, shoddy paint (if buying blind online), lack of/restricted articulation–but those are more technical issues than someone shouting, “LOOK AT THIS CRAP POWER RANGERS TOY! I BOUGHT IT JUST SO I COULD SHOW MY VIEWERS JUST HOW PISS-POOR BANDAI OF AMERICA’S PRODUCTS ARE! IMPORTED TOYS ARE SO MUCH BETTER! THIS THING LOOKS LIKE IT WAS MADE FOR KIDS! REAL FANS BUY FIGUARTS!”

  • da man

    I was excited when I heard about this line, but the figures seem to be all over the place quality wise so i am glad I passed. (mainly a cost thing) I wanted the Comedian, but the head seemed to small and molded accessories? for shame Mattel.

  • I was extremely close to signing up for the Black Freighter sub, and when all the reviews of Rorschach started to come out I was kicking myself for passing. Every month since then though, I’ve thanked my lucky stars that I passed, because Rorschach is the only one I’ve been the least bit impressed by.

  • Big Bopper

    What’s wrong with honey mustard? If something needs to go it’s Ranch dressing.

    • Honey mustard is pus squeezed from the boils on Satan’s pockmarked buttocks.

      Followed closely behind by ketchup, barbecue sauce, and baked beans. For the most part, tomato + sugar + vinegar is the demonic triad of the condiment world. I’ve only ever had one product that contained all three that I actually liked (AJ’s Spicy Georgian Sauce, and that’s only because it’s got a shedload of other tasty ingredients in it as well); all others make me retch with their vile smell just being in the same room. Banana ketchup, on the other hand, is all-purpose joy for the mouth.

      It’s all a matter of personal preference. Nobody needs to explain themselves on why they like or dislike a certain food.

  • Patrick

    Well, the smiley face won’t happen. It hasn’t been included on any figure of him due to the owner of the smiley face design not allowing it’s use. (I’m not sure how they got around that in the film.) As far as the flamethrower not having a place to stow the “gun”, that’s just normal. Flamethrowers don’t have any. Proton Packs do.

    • The movie-makers got around it by having a huge budget and paying The Smiley Corporation a boatload of cash. Mattel cheaps out by releasing unpainted swords; they ain’t likely to stump up the cash bribe for a tiny paint app on a limited-run figure. Best you can expect from them is free advice to go buy a fine-point Sharpie* and draw in the face yourself. Man, I’m cynical when I’m short on sleep.

      * Because Mattel might get a kickback from Sharpie for plugging their product.

  • David g

    COMEDIAN IS HOT AND SUPER SEXY