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Top Ten… er, Fifteen G.I. Joes
That Still Need New Figures!

Noisy No. 9 – H.E.A.T. Viper! Vault No. 8 – Overlord!
I had a H.E.A.T. Viper as a kid. He had two left feet. It was the first time I even ran into that problem, but I thought it was a real novelty back then. He ended up as a favorite and, as such, a figure I’d love to see in the modern line. His helmet is somewhat feminine though – maybe he’s a candidate for a girl version? Might need a name change then though… I don’t know how many fans feel about Overlord, but I always got a kick out of the classic figure, and his vehicle the Dictator, as a kid. He plays his role as a wannabe Cobra Commander well, apparently wanting to return Cobra to its “roots”. That’s too funny, but that came later. I just liked his look as a kid. He hung out with my Grenadiers and used his “Reaching claw” when he didn’t want to get up!
Noisy No. 7 – G.I. Nurse! Noisy No. 6 – Rocky Balboa!
It’s the 50th Anniversary of G.I. Joe and with Joe Colton returning, I think it’s time to revisit another classic figure, one of most collectible 12″ G.I. Joe’s of all time: G.I. Nurse! The world just wasn’t ready for her in 1967, but are things different today? Hasbro updated her as “G.I. Jane” in 2006, but I’d like to see her return to her “deep cover” as a nurse for the new figure! The Joes have had more than a few celebrity members and while I’d love to see an update of the Fridge & a more “fictional” version of Sgt. Slaughter, the figure I’d really like to see finally be realized? Rocky! Originally cancelled from the classic line due to Coleco’s Rambo line, I think it’s time to track down Sly and see if he’s still interested in joining G.I. Joe. It’ll help get his name out there!
Noisy No. 5 – Gung Ho in Dress Blues! Noisy No. 4 – Leatherneckues!
I could almost put this at Number 1, but Gung Ho at least has a (bad) figure already in the line. While I love Joes for their colorful take on military service, Dress Blues Gung Ho has always screamed cool for being in proper uniform. I know we’re more likely, and maybe more in need, of getting an update to his classic shirtless, giant tattoo look, but I would love to see this 87 figure get an update. So I said at the beginning, “no redos”, but I contend that Leatherneck, one of my favorite childhood Joes, has not really had a figure. His first release was in “Mission: Brazil” repaint colors for one, but the real crime? All of his releases keep using Gung Ho’s awful head sculpt. Gung Ho’s head sculpt is bad for Gung Ho, let alone getting reused for another figure. It’s time for Leatherneck to get his own head and a proper classic release!
Noisy No. 3 – Frostbite! Noisy No. 2 – Payload!
I haven’t looked up any big “G.I. Joe Want Lists” of late, but I bet Frostbite would be near the top if I did. With the Club knocking out vehicle drivers this year, Frostbite basically jumps to the top of the list as, I believe, the oldest RAH figure to not have received an update (but we got the Snow Cat?). Hasbro did make a non-vintage ski mask version, but let’s leave that on the shelf. I did. Um, ASTRONAUT. I told you there would be more. Payload piloted the Defiant Shuttle (& later the Crusader) which is cool enough, but I just love the figure’s design. Payload had some great color schemes (five! I prefer yellow) in the vintage line, but Hasbro lost the original mold and Barbecue has been subbing in after the second figure. Sad day. It’s time for Payload to get his own mold again!
Noisy No. 1 – 30th Anniversary Joes!
What better way to celebrate the 50th Anniversary of G.I. Joes than updating the 30th Anniversary figures in 30th Anniversary Style?? Wait… no that’s right. I’m old. When I was a kid, I ate these figures up. I have the original four. I got them again in that big 5pk that included the… yep, Astronaut! Heck, I even have these guys as keychains. (I don’t have the ’94 Convention Pilot clad in black, but I digress…). It was cool to see the Classic Joes in the RAH format and I’d love it if Hasbro or the Club could bring these Classic Joes into the Modern Format alongside the Adventure Team. I don’t know that we’ve heard anything out of Hasbro about the 50th Anniversary, but I hope they do something like this – even if it has to be a nigh unobtainable SDCC thing. The 50th is just too big an opportunity for Hasbro to pass up, right?

Alright, that’s my list! And nope, Cobra-La wasn’t on it! Uh Oh! But let’s put that aside and hear your most wanted Joes in the comments below!

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19 comments to Top Ten… er, Fifteen G.I. Joes
That Still Need New Figures!

  • Just for fun, here are some figures that didn’t make the cut, but lasted long enough to get images for the article:

  • Poor Long Range doesn’t seem to appear in the classic art work. Sad day.

  • dayraven

    um, any list that doesn’t put golobulus directly in the number one spot is barely worth dignifying with a response. cobra-la was dumb… but golobulus? 8 buckets of awes-chum used to summon a shaolin megaladon mermaid with twin bazookas and liquid pizza bobs!

    • ero

      Um, dayraven, I think I love you.

      For real, Cobra-La is lacking some serious ME representation. I want it, I want it all: Gobble-gobble-Golobulus, PYTHONA!, Royal Guards, Cobra-La scientists, pilots, pods, spores, all of it! And I want it all wrapped up in a bow with a new Falcon, Sunbow Serpentor, Big Lob and cartoon-accurate Chuckles and Jinx. Yeah, baby.

    • Mark

      I hated Cobra La and thought it was pathetic compared to the comics but as I right this I can’t help but think some of them would be awesome figures, Golobulus and Pythona especially.

  • I am going to give Noisy massive, massive props for listing the GI Nurse. I used to have her. We bought her at Marshall Fields in Chicago and she shared many adventures with my Joes. My only frustration was I couldn’t find clothes to fit her! If she had only come with some fatigues to go with the nurse dress! Ultimately I found she could comfortably wear the ‘Action Boy’ leotard and boots from Ideal’s Captain Action line and that seemed somehow correct for the Adventure Team years.

    GI Nurse mysteriously vanished during a move. It makes me very sad.

    ahem. And yes to 3 3/4 Adventure Team. I think whatever failure the previous con exclusive met would have been due to us old schoolers not wanting the AT IP diluted with the ‘shrink down’ when we don’t get nearly enough love in the 11 3/4 scale as it is, combined with the bad, evil memories of ‘Super Joe’. Brrrr.

    Were Hasbro to do a line of 3 3/4 inch Adventure Team, I would say they would need to fully commit to it. Full throttle. Figures and Vehicles. And throw new tooling into the mix. Plenty of classic RAH vehicles would work as repurposed AT stuff, but why not an actual classic ATV in RAH scale?

  • Dead Man Walking

    I must be unique among Joe collectors; my favorites from the original lines were usually masked individuals with either a ninja, commando, or not-too-ridiculous sci-fi look. More often than not, they were Cobras. Cobra just seemed to have way more cool looking characters to me that Joe.

    For instance, my favorite name figures were Firefly, Shockwave, Star Viper, v2 Snake Eyes, Battle Armor Cobra Commander, and v2 Storm Shadow; my favorite troopers were Techno-Vipers, Alley Vipers, Astro Vipers, TARGATs, Toxo Vipers, Hydro Vipers, Iron Grenadiers, Crimson Guards, BATs, and Vipers.

    However, it seems like everywhere I look the majority of Joe fans are obsessed with Grunt and the OG 13, Adventure Team, or guys like Gung Ho, Leatherneck, Footloose–well, any guy with a mustache it seems. Then there seems to be a sizable minority who gravitate to the most absurd and ostentatious figures, like Eco Warriors and Battle Force.

    Part of the lack of appeal of these characters for me was probably due to the fact that I played with the toys more than watched the show or read the comics. However, no matter the stories, a guy in a cool red dome, like Star Viper is always going to seem cooler to me than a cajun with no shirt, wearing a jean vest.

    Still, I have come to appreciate all of these different types of characters more as an adult, but even still my most wants list is around those cooler, masked characters.

    So, my top 15 would be:

    1 The Fridge (hey, I’m a Chicagoan)
    2 Star Viper
    3 Astro Viper
    4 v1 Toxo Viper (hoping these are the ones in the con set, but guessing they’re v2)
    5 v2 Storm Shadow
    6 a new Shockwave (25th Ann is DATED)
    7 Metal Head (ok, one dude with a mustache)
    8 Head Man (make that two)
    9 Hydro Viper
    10 TARGAT
    11 Dee Jay (my weird personal choice)
    12 Munitia
    13 Rocky Balboa
    14 Super Trooper
    15 v5 Ninja Force Snake Eyes

  • Faugh

    Could not agree more about Gung Ho. I never had “regular” Gung Ho, so the shirtless version just never clicked with me. A proper Gung Ho would be my #1.

  • Yeah, some of those are cool, but with all the ridiculous palaver they’ve been pulling with their figures (Classic-style Jinx being SDCC exclusive, other key characters being sub-only), G.I. Joe has pretty much lost me.

    The two things that would get me back?

    A BBTS Cobra-La 7-Pack, containing:
    Golobulus w/ bio-rifle, opening hover-shell and bendy-posable tail
    Pythona w/ removable fabric robe and bio-ninja arsenal
    Nemesis Enforcer (or Immortal, or whatever they’re calling him) w/ mutation spore pod
    4 x Cobra-La Royal Guards, w/ ax-clubs, pistols, comm-antennae, & removable capes

    A proper Night Raven SP3 re-release. Not that movie version. The original and best.

    That’s pretty much all that would get me to buy another G.I. Joe item. Mind you, a re-release of the STUN and/or Thunder Machine would be pretty tempting, too . . . .

  • Lay Ze-Man

    I gotta throw in with the La chants. Definitely need Golobulus and the Guards, plus NE’s original 25th figure sucked.

    Beyond that, I don’t have many “non-redo” figures I want. I want stuff like RAH colored versions of Law & Order, Spearhead & Max, Muskrat, etc. Or proper versions of halfass attempts like Wet-Suit. Or any and every “ultimate style” figure from the concept vault they come up with.

    The main takeaway from this article is that it reveals how deep they’ve already gone on the original RAH roster, pretty dang impressive!

  • Al Lew

    Here’s my list, I’m more of a Transformers fan, but started collection JOES during their 25th anniversary line.

    1) Fast Draw
    2) Rocky Balboa
    3) The Fridge
    4) Sneak Peek
    5) Crystal Ball
    6) Raptor
    7) Pythona
    8) HEAT Viper
    9) Laser Viper
    10) Overlord
    11) Incinerators
    12) Overkill (BAT Leader)
    13) Night Creeper Leader
    14) Crimson Guard Immortals
    15) General Flagg

    Frostbite would have made the list but I’m sure the Club will make him eventually.

  • Oh, BTW, it’s Mike Power, Atomic Man. No ‘S’. It’s a common mistake perpetuated even in many ‘collector’ books, but a simple look at the package (or advertising) shows the truth. No ‘S’.

    Hasbro had a ‘thing’ with the name Mike. My Adventure Team Membership Certificate says one Mike Triumph is the Commander of the AT.

    Yes I still have my certificate. Framed and mounted on my wall. Is that weird? 🙂

  • Anything from the Concept Case Ultimates (Flint, Lady Jaye, Gung-Ho, ’83 card art Destro) would rock for me. Anyone from the first ten years who hasn’t been redone. And better distribution for army builders! I have yet to score a Retaliation Night Viper at less than scalper prices.

    I do like your list, Noisy. Some stuff in there is well worth revisiting.

    The Adventure Team has begun to grow on me thanks to the club magazine comic strip. Colonel Courage and most of the Battle Corps guys would be cool. I just won Space Shot off eBay yesterday and he does look awesome. I’m a sucker for Vac-Metal as well and I love the Super Trooper I got a few years back. I would get T.A.R.G.A.T. if he came with a removable helmet. Same deal with Sneak Peek: He had a moving death and surprising resurrection in the Hama comics, so I’d say that he’s long redeemed himself and moved beyond the whole King family connection. H.E.A.T. Viper might work. Overlord definitely would. G.I. Nurse? Sure, why not? Rocky Balboa is okay, but since we got Bruce Willis this year, I say it’s high time we also had Arnold Schwarzenegger join the Joes! Who’s with me? Gung-Ho in Dress Blues would also work as an army builder if you think about it. You have my vote for a proper Leatherneck even if it’s the convention set body with a new head. Frostbite is a must in order to complete Team ’85, especially since Iceberg has been made and the Snow Cat mold is still available for use. And Payload? I never had any of his versions, but it’s gotta be an update of the first two all the way! As for the 30th Anniversary Joes, there’s no better time than next year to redo those guys.

    Some of your honorable mentions are actually favorites of mine: Backblast, Fast Draw, Captain Grid-Iron, and the original Long Range would all be guaranteed buys for me.

    If I had my say in the matter, though, I’d simply relaunch the RAH line from 1982 onward in a new style which combined o-ring construction with the sturdier plastic (no more broken crotches) and detailed sculpting that G.I. Joe is still known for, minus recent changes such as the web gear and awkward ab joint. Kind of an amalgam between the vintage and modern figures, borrowing the best aspects from each era.

  • Brainlock

    Sneak Peek, TARGAT, Frostbite, Payload, definitely. Overlord was cool, imo.

    like I said in the Big Boa review, I’ve passed on a LOT of them the last few years because they look so fragile, even compared to fellow Hasbro licenses, MU and SW. For instance, you point out that Sneak Peek looks a bit chubby, and Crankcase was, as well, but his re-issue was lean. can’t picture if the modern Bazooka was heavy, too?
    (hell, my best friend has kept gaining since he got back from Iraq in 05 and they still keep him on!)
    but seriously, when Roadblock is same height as the ladies, you might have a slight sculpting problem. I’m not saying Marvin needs to be same height as 5″ scale figures (DW), but the classic ARAH line had a bit more realistic variety to their body types.

    My list would be more of vehicles and bases.
    10. VvV Cobra Mountain – mostly because I’m still kicking myself for passing that up!
    9. Destro’s flying pod – not only is it an attack plane, it doubles as a science experiment tank! Hello, Serpentor Birthing Matrix!
    8. classic HISS – was this re-done for the TF/Joes?
    7. Destro’s tank thingy – one of the later vehicles and it quickly became one of my favorites.
    6. Joe’s original HQ – another base I missed out on.
    5. APC – just for nostalgia purposes, but they did do the more modern Rhino, so…?
    4. Joe mobile base(?) – oil rig thingy that got a “toxic” redeco for the Eco-squad.
    3. Mobile Command Carrier – sure, I know they re-released it a few years back, but I thought I still had most of mine left. I now realize it’s barely half intact. sigh….
    2. Defiant/Crusader – I had the Crusader/Avenger re-issue, but the Defiant was something I saw *ONCE* in a closing Children’s Palace and didn’t have the extra money for that week. I settled for the Crusader later, but always wanted the Defiant/launch base.
    1. Terror. Drome. – nuff said. (bonus Joe *and* Cobra colors variants???)

  • AmericanHyena

    I don’t know if they’ll ever see the light of day on our shelves, but the H.E.A.T. Viper and Laser Viper have at least been designed and have prototypes. They’ve been shown in Hasbro’s concept display case since last year.

  • J. Lee

    Boy good lists both of you. I had a HEAT Viper and yes love to see a new one. Every fig in Cobra Island sets dwserves an upgrade to me. (Also miss that site and its old arcade) Dress blues Gung Ho was a fig I liked alot. That needs an update badly and would 2nd some military dress uniform looks for others.

    Cobra-La as a Unicron worshipping cult sound corny or cool and they have Bludgeon working with them.

    If I did a list I wouldn’t know where to begin since sold off old joes and dunno who I put in my list.

  • Evil Ed

    I would love to see Hardball, Super Trooper, Raptor (yeah, I said Raptor!), Crystal Ball, Mercer v.2 (with the chainmail and the beard), Cobra-La, a new Cutter (Cutter gas a ball cap, dammit!), and STUN viper. Also, in a perfect world, there would be a line of Joes based on The Expendables