![](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.itsalltrue.net\/resources\/images\/really.png?w=640\")
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Since its Joe week here, I\u2019ve got three Joe mini-rants to share…<\/p>\n
1. I get that kids enjoy firing missile launchers, but can we make them a little more sensical? There are a couple of good ones like the Ice Viper\u2019s (best one ever) or Sgt. Stone\u2019s which looks like a remote control missile launcher. But then there are strange ones that make no sense at all. A missile launcher you hold with one hand like a revolver? I\u2019m sure that wouldn\u2019t rip your arm off. Or how about Helix\u2019s absurd satellite dish missile. Is that for when you need great reception, only way over there? Then there\u2019s the Para-Viper\u2019s strange helicopter-thing that he can\u2019t hold onto correctly without being cut to ribbons. Hope Cobra has a good health plan. Don\u2019t even get me started on the suction cup that Duke can hang from. What kid hasn\u2019t wished for one of those?<\/p>\n
2. Ugly girl faces. I don\u2019t think the sculptors at Hasbro hate women, but it sometimes seems like they do with the mongoloid dog-faces that I see on the pegs. The first movie Baroness figure looked like it was contorting its face. Cover Girl, who is supposed to be on par with a supermodel, looked more like a Cro-Magnon with that huge forehead. And what the hell happened to Scarlett? In the movie, she was hot. The toy, with that pasty white complexion and blank stare on her face, looks more like an understudy for the remake of Nosferatu. I will give Hasbro props for Helix and Paris Pursuit Baroness though. Even though neither of them are perfect, they are at least decently good looking and, most importantly, recognizable as women.<\/p>\n
3. This year, the GI Joe Fan Club is doing something extra cool with the old-school Adventure Team being remade in 25th Anniversary style. They were even cool enough to throw in Dr. Venom and some cool AT vehicles. Sounds like a winner all-around right? Well, kinda. Sure, we get four of the original Adventure Team members, all with those cool Chuck Norris beards, but guess what we don\u2019t get? The black guy. You see, back in the far off land of 1970, when the Adventure Team first debuted, it consisted of nine figures. Two of those figures were African-American. There was the regular Adventurer, and the Adventurer Team Commander (with talking action). Now don\u2019t get me wrong, I love the 25th Anniversary Adventure Team. I will buy all of them. I just wish there was a little more diversity in the group at the onset. Especially since even the four we\u2019ve seen so far aren\u2019t guaranteed to be made. It would have been awesome to have a bad-ass black Adventure Team Commander, with an equally bad-ass afro, leading the charge against Dr. Venom.<\/p>\n
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Since its Joe week here, I\u2019ve got three Joe mini-rants to share… 1. I get that kids enjoy firing missile launchers, but can we make them a little more sensical? There are a couple of good ones like the Ice Viper\u2019s (best one ever) or Sgt. Stone\u2019s which looks like a remote control missile launcher. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":13,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_themeisle_gutenberg_block_has_review":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[31,10],"tags":[247,246,2568,30,80,2560],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pObc6-mN","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1395,"url":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/?p=1395","url_meta":{"origin":1413,"position":0},"title":"Review: G.I. Joe Rise of Cobra Flash & the Para-Viper","date":"September 2, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"JoeWeek keeps on rolling! Today, we bring you two more third wave figures, Anthony \"Flash\" Gambello and the Para-Viper. Flash, like Helix, is another figure that's design comes to us via the ROC video game while the Para-Viper is a repaint of the 25th Anniversary version, but in the red\/black\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":158,"url":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/?p=158","url_meta":{"origin":1413,"position":1},"title":"Review: G.I. Joe Rise of Cobra Shipwreck and Sgt. Stone","date":"July 13, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7868,"url":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/?p=7868","url_meta":{"origin":1413,"position":2},"title":"Vault Review: GI Joe Wolf Hound","date":"July 20, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"When my TRU finally received the Pursuit of Cobra HISS Tank, I had to have it. My year-long wait was finally over. But there was another vehicle at TRU that day. It had a new name and a new driver, but I knew it from my childhood. I had to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":806,"url":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/?p=806","url_meta":{"origin":1413,"position":3},"title":"Mr. Rant says I thought we were past “female figures don’t sell”.","date":"August 4, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Apparently, it\u2019s 1950 and boys don\u2019t play with girl action figures. At least, that\u2019s the way Mattel still sees it for a few of their lines. If you are a fan of the Secret Saturdays or Batman: Brave and the Bold, don\u2019t get your hopes up for a complete set\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Mister Rant"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2109,"url":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/?p=2109","url_meta":{"origin":1413,"position":4},"title":"Mr. Rant asks, “why are there so many movie toys?”","date":"October 20, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"The G.I. Joe section at my Wal-Mart sure seems crowded lately. All I want to do is go to my local Wal-mart\/TRU\/Target and pick up the newest GI Joe figures, but I can\u2019t. I\u2019m sure my readers know why. There\u2019s no room for anything new. All the first run movie\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Mister Rant"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1377,"url":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/?p=1377","url_meta":{"origin":1413,"position":5},"title":"ItsAllTrueReview: G.I. Joe Rise of Cobra Helix & the Pit Commando","date":"September 1, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"JoeWeek keeps on rolling! In the bevy of movie Joes, two in particular caught a lot of folks attention, one for being unique and the other for being generic: Helix, a new Joe created as an unlockable character for the video game, and the Pit Commando, an army building Joe\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1413"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/13"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1413"}],"version-history":[{"count":7,"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1413\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6996,"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1413\/revisions\/6996"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1413"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1413"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1413"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}