{"id":1322,"date":"2009-08-27T09:47:59","date_gmt":"2009-08-27T14:47:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/?p=1322"},"modified":"2009-08-27T21:53:12","modified_gmt":"2009-08-28T02:53:12","slug":"mr-rant-the-cardboard-ford-explorer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/?p=1322","title":{"rendered":"Mr. Rant &#038; the cardboard Ford Explorer"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img decoding=\"async\" align=left src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.itsalltrue.net\/resources\/images\/really.png?w=640\" data-recalc-dims=\"1\"><\/p>\n<p>I didn\u2019t much feel like ranting this week, that\u2019s how you can tell I\u2019ve been sick. \u00a0But then something happened on Tuesday that spurred me to the site for at least one brief spiel. \u00a0Hold onto your hats, this will go quick.<\/p>\n<p>Jurassic Park toys. \u00a0Apparently, this line has been hanging onto the fringe of the toy world through KB Toys exclusives ever since the last movie. \u00a0I didn\u2019t realize this until recently when the line was \u201crevived\u201d by Hasbro as a Toys R Us exclusive. \u00a0Seems like Hasbro, at least with this line, has really mastered the art of taking decade old molds of dinosaurs, repainting them god awful neon colors, and re-releasing them every few years. \u00a0Kudos to them, I guess\u2026<center><!--more--><\/center><\/p>\n<p>So, there I was, reading over what figures were in the wave and looking at the clashing paint schemes of dinosaurs on psychotropic drugs, when I get to the last item on the list.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cJurassic Park Deluxe Electronic T-Rex &#8211; The king of the dinosaurs has arrived! This massive T-Rex comes to life with multiple growls, roars and howls and even a \u201cbone crunching\u201d sound effect for when it eats its prey. Additionally, its motion activated stomping sounds are sure to strike fear into humans and other dinosaurs alike. This giant dinosaur comes with a \u201cDino Tracker\u201d action and a weapon that really fires. As an added bonus, the back of the box has an illustration that can be cut out and assembled into an off-road vehicle.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat\u2019s kinda odd\u201d, I thought to myself. \u00a0So I look at the picture, and sure enough, that&#8217;s what the box said too.   \u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Let me ask you this, dear readers. \u00a0How the hell are you supposed to get away from a giant T-Rex, painted like a neon Easter egg, that\u2019s charging in your direction? \u00a0Well, according to Hasbro, you get out your trusty pair of scissors and cut out your own two-dimensional cardboard Ford Explorer from the back of the box you just came in. \u00a0<\/p>\n<p>Really Hasbro? \u00a0<\/p>\n<p>You couldn\u2019t spring for the few extra dollars to have the molds you already had done for over a decade used again so that some kid\u2019s poor excuse of a Sam Neill figure actually has a chance escaping to safety without resorting to Flintstone-ing \u00a0a cardboard cutout of a car that resembles, at best, a shabby backdrop to some third rate high school play?<\/p>\n<p>Really?<\/p>\n<p>&#8211;<a HREF=\"mailto:misterrant@itsalltrue.net\">Mr. Rant<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I didn\u2019t much feel like ranting this week, that\u2019s how you can tell I\u2019ve been sick. \u00a0But then something happened on Tuesday that spurred me to the site for at least one brief spiel. \u00a0Hold onto your hats, this will go quick. Jurassic Park toys. \u00a0Apparently, this line has been hanging onto the fringe of [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_themeisle_gutenberg_block_has_review":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_options":[]},"categories":[5,10],"tags":[233,30,2560],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pObc6-lk","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":806,"url":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/?p=806","url_meta":{"origin":1322,"position":0},"title":"Mr. Rant says I thought we were past &#8220;female figures don&#8217;t sell&#8221;.","date":"August 4, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Apparently, it\u2019s 1950 and boys don\u2019t play with girl action figures. At least, that\u2019s the way Mattel still sees it for a few of their lines. If you are a fan of the Secret Saturdays or Batman: Brave and the Bold, don\u2019t get your hopes up for a complete set\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Mister Rant&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3823,"url":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/?p=3823","url_meta":{"origin":1322,"position":1},"title":"Mr. Rant to Toy Companies: &#8220;Do Better!&#8221;","date":"February 9, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"I spend a disproportionate amount of my income on Mattel toys. As a result, many of my Rants are aimed at Mattel. I don\u2019t like that. I want to spread it around, so to speak. Last night, Noisy gave me a revelation. I don\u2019t have a lot to rant about\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Mister Rant&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1710,"url":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/?p=1710","url_meta":{"origin":1322,"position":2},"title":"Mr. Rant asks &#8220;Why does the gun barrel point sideways?&#8221;","date":"September 22, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"So Webstor is here, and Noisy will have his review up soon, but I wanted to comment on a disturbing trend I\u2019ve noticed in the last few MOTUCs. One of the benefits of having friends that like similar things is that you can split the cost of shipping. It also\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Mister Rant&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2711,"url":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/?p=2711","url_meta":{"origin":1322,"position":3},"title":"Mr. Rant&#8217;s favorite things about Christmas","date":"December 8, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Christmas is rushing towards us at full steam and I'll be out of town for the next few weeks, so it\u2019s time for another one of my holiday lists. The newspeople would like us to think we aren\u2019t spending any money this year, but I\u2019m pretty sure they\u2019re wrong. No,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Mister Rant&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3221,"url":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/?p=3221","url_meta":{"origin":1322,"position":4},"title":"Mr. Rant&#8217;s Post Holiday Complaints","date":"January 5, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Waiting, waiting, waiting is all I seem to be doing lately. I ordered a case of DCUC11 from Matty on December 23rd. I realized when I ordered them that it was too close to Christmas to expect them anytime soon. To Matty\u2019s credit, they had them ready for shipment rather\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Mister Rant&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":348,"url":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/?p=348","url_meta":{"origin":1322,"position":5},"title":"Mr. Rant asks Where are my DC Minimates???","date":"July 21, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Mister Rant&quot;","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1322"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1322"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1322\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1341,"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1322\/revisions\/1341"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1322"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1322"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.itsalltrue.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1322"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}