Yeah, I'm a Geek, so what, wanna fight about it?

The Forum may be named after DC Classics, but this forum is meant for all your DC Comics toy discussion: Classics, DC Direct, JLU, Young Justice, & Beyond. DC Toy Talk from Aztek to Zauriel.

Moderators: SilntAngl5, Ebonhorn

Yeah, I'm a Geek, so what, wanna fight about it?

Postby dayraven » Wed Jun 12, 2013 3:03 pm

http://theweek.com/article/index/245493 ... man-shaves

so i just watched this stupid thing gillette is doing as a "man of steel" sales crossver, and in particular, kevin smith's answer disappoints me most... why? because he's supposedly a comic book geek (so are the mythbusters and blossom, but since their TV show isn't called "Comic Book Men" i'm letting them slide.) the correct answer, for comic geeks, if you don't accept the reflected heat vision theory, is the bottled city of kandor theory. as in, he travels into kandor, gets a shave and a haircut, and then exits. it explains the perfect coif and the shadowless jawline at the same time. after all, even IF smith's explanation worked for his beard, it wouldn't answer how he keeps his neckline flawless. he might be super, but he can't shave the back of his own neck, and no one else, regardless of the material, could press down on his skin hard enough to cut a clean line like that.

on another topic... why don't these kinds of questions come up in regards to wonder woman's bikini line? or is that why she'd always in hip huggers, to hide the hair diaper? kara zor-el must face the same issues, there's no wax on earth gonna maintain her from looking like the album cover of Amorica.
Prying open my third eye
User avatar
dayraven
Captain Icon O'Clast
Captain Icon O'Clast
 
Posts: 6546
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2009 7:27 am
Location: the darkest recesses of the primordial human brain

Re: Yeah, I'm a Geek, so what, wanna fight about it?

Postby JamesLynch » Wed Jun 12, 2013 10:46 pm

The heat vision thing works for Kara. Theoretically, she can see every place she needs to burn the hair off of, so she wouldn't even need to use a mirror. At least I hope she's not sprouting any lip hair.

Wonder Woman has access to magical weapons forged by the gods. She undoubtedly has some mystically forged shaver. If not, it wouldn't just be her bikini line that'd be a problem, but also her legs and underarms.

Actually, as mindnumbingly stupid as the Superman/Wonder Woman coupling in the comics is, at least it gives DC a situation to present a new canonical explanation to the problem; Diana could give Clark a razor forged by Hephaestus.

Also, shaving the back of your own neck is quite possible, provided you have two mirrors and decent hand-eye coordination.
JamesLynch
Lt. Commander
Lt. Commander
 
Posts: 348
Joined: Sat May 11, 2013 10:06 pm

Re: Yeah, I'm a Geek, so what, wanna fight about it?

Postby dayraven » Thu Jun 13, 2013 12:56 pm

JamesLynch wrote:Also, shaving the back of your own neck is quite possible, provided you have two mirrors and decent hand-eye coordination.


clearly you don't have 26 inch pythons.
Prying open my third eye
User avatar
dayraven
Captain Icon O'Clast
Captain Icon O'Clast
 
Posts: 6546
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2009 7:27 am
Location: the darkest recesses of the primordial human brain

Re: Yeah, I'm a Geek, so what, wanna fight about it?

Postby twofisted » Fri Jun 14, 2013 8:17 am

I'm totally fine with the heat vision and mirror method. Only problem with that theory is...if Supermans heat vision can do harm to a Kryptonian, wouldnt his heat vision burn his own face? BUT even that can be explained away with the idea that Superman has the ability to completely control his powers, therefore applying just enough heat to burn the hair and not his face. With that said....I've always gone with the heat vision and mirror method. It makes sense and its also pretty funny.

Why couldnt we go the opposite route? Superman can cup his hands over his mouth and blow some super cold breath...freezing the whiskers as if they were dipped in liquid nitrogen. All he needs to do is wipe the frosty whiskers away with his bare hands....AND no after shave needed.

Has anybody given any thought to plucking? He should have the strength to pluck out each hair with his fingers. Doing that at super speed should take care of things fairly easily.

OR....with all the technology in the Fortitude of Solemness, there should be some kind of electric razor in there. Jor-El could have thrown one in the glove box of the capsule. He keeps it in the bathroom...it looks like 2 shells
User avatar
twofisted
Lt. Commander
Lt. Commander
 
Posts: 260
Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2010 11:21 am

Re: Yeah, I'm a Geek, so what, wanna fight about it?

Postby JamesLynch » Fri Jun 14, 2013 9:35 am

twofisted wrote:Has anybody given any thought to plucking? He should have the strength to pluck out each hair with his fingers. Doing that at super speed should take care of things fairly easily.


But his hairs would have the same proportional strength as the rest of him. It's sort of the whole "Is Spider-Man strong enough to crush his own skull?" No, he's not, because his skull strength is proportional to his arm strength the same way a normal person's is.

Can you pluck out your own facial hairs? Yes you can, but it would take a while, be really painful, and probably wouldn't work too well when you're dealing with stubble. If the heat vision (or cold breath, though that opens up a whole other can of worms about how the hell Superman's breath is so cold. How can his lungs, which fill with air that's room temperature, and are inside his body, which you have to figure is at least the same temperature as a human's, or possibly even warmer, since he's essentially a living solar battery, generate bursts of air that are below freezing temperature? It doesn't make any sense) works, why go for something slower and more painful?
JamesLynch
Lt. Commander
Lt. Commander
 
Posts: 348
Joined: Sat May 11, 2013 10:06 pm

Re: Yeah, I'm a Geek, so what, wanna fight about it?

Postby dayraven » Fri Jun 14, 2013 2:18 pm

the freeze breath is easy, move any body of air, regardless of starting temperature, fast enough it has a cooling effect on the environment it's colliding with. his breath isn't cold, it's fast, but it chills the object he's blowing on.

as for the pluck theory, yeah, that seems a tad thin. it might work, but it would be hella painful, and a long time to do. plus, his fine motor skills don't appear to be vastly superior to our own, and a human trying to pluck his beard by hand would be in a lot of trouble.

and honestly, the kryptonite starship piece being used as a razor bugs me because the ship isn't organic. supes is. his super powers are a response by living tissue to a new environment. his biology can adapt, while the ship can not. it's static material. this is provable because, if the crystalline structure of the metal in the ship got harder and stronger like clark's body does when exposed to our sun, the ship would have punched a neat little hole through the planet and kept right on going, rather than crashing and stopping.

the mirror is the problem though twofisted, because an earth mirror can't reflect a beam of light (or heat) hot enough to destroy kryptonian biology. in other words, even if you ascribe to the "perfect control theory" he' can't soften the beam to strike the mirror, then intensify it afterwards to burn his hair. a beam hot enough to burn his hair would liquify the mirror

james' hephaestus-made razor for diana's trouble spots actually gave me idea there... supes and di are friends, maybe she gifted him w/ a magic razor too? it doesn't carry the extreme liability of a kryptonite razor, while still taking advantage of his magical vulnerability. that might not have been golden age canon, but if i were DC, this is absolutely the angle i'd take, and i'd debut it in the justice league movie. it would be a great corporate tie in (gillette exclusive JLoA magic razor!), it would make a light and playful moment in the film, and really ducks all the feasibility issues of the other solutions.

or maybe zatanna or raven whipped up a pot of magical nair?
Prying open my third eye
User avatar
dayraven
Captain Icon O'Clast
Captain Icon O'Clast
 
Posts: 6546
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2009 7:27 am
Location: the darkest recesses of the primordial human brain

Re: Yeah, I'm a Geek, so what, wanna fight about it?

Postby twofisted » Fri Jun 14, 2013 3:48 pm

How about...snicker....he rubs his cheeks with his hands at super speed and the friction burns off the hairs? haha

The Amazonian idea has interesting potential. Afterall....a couple that shaves together, stays together. I'm not sure in this New52 universe that Supes and WW are at the..."hey babe, could you shave my back please?" phase of the relationship.

The piece of Kryptonian wreakage could work I guess. My problem..at least with the Kevin Smith explaination, was that he makes it sound like he just rips a section of wing off and starts scraping his face with it. Wouldnt Superman have to take said piece of Kryptonian metal and then hone and sharpen it...kind of like a prison shiv? At least make it sharp. Kevin Smith makes it sound like he's shaving with the edge of a cast iron skillet.

On the same subject. Once we all agree on how he shaves...how does he cut the hair on his head?
User avatar
twofisted
Lt. Commander
Lt. Commander
 
Posts: 260
Joined: Mon Sep 27, 2010 11:21 am

Re: Yeah, I'm a Geek, so what, wanna fight about it?

Postby JamesLynch » Fri Jun 14, 2013 4:22 pm

dayraven wrote:this is provable because, if the crystalline structure of the metal in the ship got harder and stronger like clark's body does when exposed to our sun, the ship would have punched a neat little hole through the planet and kept right on going, rather than crashing and stopping.

Except that it takes Clark time to absorb solar radiation, so you could argue the ship hadn't had enough time to absorb enough solar energy to become powerful enough to punch through the ship. I'm in no way arguing that that is the case, because I also do not subscribe to the theory that Kryptonian artifacts gain super strength on Earth, but some people seem to. That's why, to me, the notion that his costume is made of his baby blanket doesn't make much sense.
twofisted wrote:Once we all agree on how he shaves...how does he cut the hair on his head?

Same way he shaves. He's just really, really coordinated. :)
JamesLynch
Lt. Commander
Lt. Commander
 
Posts: 348
Joined: Sat May 11, 2013 10:06 pm

Re: Yeah, I'm a Geek, so what, wanna fight about it?

Postby dayraven » Fri Jun 21, 2013 11:57 pm

next question... if sleez mind controls supes into banging big barda... is it adultery? i have to say no on this one. i don't think any legalities override the fact that the cavorting duo were not in control of their bodies. and can a kryptonian pass an STD to a new god? where would one even get the needle to do the blood testing?

why ARE there so many green lanterns from earth? why aren't there at least that many from new genesis or apokalips?

IF kara zor el got pregnant (let's say that she met a nice guy in kandor and did the nasty), so she's carrying a kryptonian baby... would the "charge" in her cells pass through the placenta by osmosis and the kid would inherit "full power" or would her super vagina completely pulp the as-yet-uncharged kryptonian as if it were a mere human? in theory, the placental blood supply is the kid's, not the mother's, hence why surrogate babies don't carry the host mother's DNA, so there's a strong likelihood that her cells would in fact NOT infuse the kid, leaving that baby mostly unpowered (since the kandorian would not have powers either), so the first time her muscles bear down on that kid, it's tomato paste.
Prying open my third eye
User avatar
dayraven
Captain Icon O'Clast
Captain Icon O'Clast
 
Posts: 6546
Joined: Fri Oct 09, 2009 7:27 am
Location: the darkest recesses of the primordial human brain

Re: Yeah, I'm a Geek, so what, wanna fight about it?

Postby JamesLynch » Sat Jun 22, 2013 9:55 am

dayraven wrote:next question... if sleez mind controls supes into banging big barda... is it adultery? i have to say no on this one. i don't think any legalities override the fact that the cavorting duo were not in control of their bodies. and can a kryptonian pass an STD to a new god? where would one even get the needle to do the blood testing?


No, for the reasons you stated.

dayraven wrote:why ARE there so many green lanterns from earth? why aren't there at least that many from new genesis or apokalips?


In universe; Earth is special, it's the center of all major galactic events.

In the real world; writers are lazy.

dayraven wrote:IF kara zor el got pregnant (let's say that she met a nice guy in kandor and did the nasty), so she's carrying a kryptonian baby... would the "charge" in her cells pass through the placenta by osmosis and the kid would inherit "full power" or would her super vagina completely pulp the as-yet-uncharged kryptonian as if it were a mere human? in theory, the placental blood supply is the kid's, not the mother's, hence why surrogate babies don't carry the host mother's DNA, so there's a strong likelihood that her cells would in fact NOT infuse the kid, leaving that baby mostly unpowered (since the kandorian would not have powers either), so the first time her muscles bear down on that kid, it's tomato paste.


That's a tough one. In theory, because kids gain all of their nutrition from their mothers, whatever Kara's body takes in would be passed to the kid. That would include any level of solar charge her cells are carrying. The child would then have the proportional super powers of a baby, ie it would be super strong for a baby, but it wouldn't be as strong as Superman, because babies aren't as strong as full grown adults.

Or, if that theory didn't pan out, Kara would have to make sure she was undergoing regular medical care to make sure something terrible didn't happen. She'd have to be placed in a special room with red son lamps as she approached her due date to make sure she didn't pulp the kid trying to give it life.
JamesLynch
Lt. Commander
Lt. Commander
 
Posts: 348
Joined: Sat May 11, 2013 10:06 pm

Next

Return to DCClassics.Com & DCUAllStars.Com Forum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

Latest Headlines

ItsAllTrue.Net

cron